Theory vs Reality

One day a son asked his father what was the difference between "theory" and "reality".

His father thought and then said "Go ask your Mother if she would sleep with the next door neighbor for a half million dollars."  
The son went to his mother and asked her.  She thought about it a minute and then said, "Yes, yes I would." 
The son returned to his father and told him her reply.  

The father then told the son to go ask his sister if she would sleep with the next door
neighbor's son for a half million dollars.  The son went to his sister and asked her.  She thought about it for a minute and then replied, "Yes, yes I would."
The son returned to his father and told him his sister also said she would.  

The father said, "Well son, there you have it.  In theory, we're living with a million bucks.  In reality, we're living with a couple of 
whores."

Bonus Joke: "Types of Pains"!!

Three women, while traveling in a train, are discussing different types of pain.
The first woman says, "There is no pain like when you suffer a fracture".
The second woman says, "That's nothing.  Post-surgical pain is the worst".
The third woman says, "I disagree.  Pain during childbirth is the severest".

An old man who is resting up on the top bunk overhears this conversation and interrupts them:
   "I don't think you three have ever experienced a swift kick to the balls".